


Remember

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Disfigurement, Jealousy, M/M, Revenge, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “I’ve decided what?” the elder interrupted, bewildered. “You can believe whatever you want, Daiki, but remains the fact that I’ve chosen Kota because I love him, not because I enjoy being his whore.”





	Remember

One... two... three... four...

Kei was counting the raindrops.

Since he had been dragged to that room he had nothing better to do.

He was bound to the bed with ropes that cut through his skin, and even the smallest shifting hurt, so he was trying to keep as still as possible.

But he was tired and he was hungry, and he kept counting the raindrops hitting the window, imagining he could’ve drunk them, that he could’ve given relief to his mouth, his body.

But all he could do was keep still waiting for someone else to decide what would’ve been of him.

He heard steps outside the door, and the noise of the lock clicking. He tried not to be impatient, faking an indifference he couldn’t feel, little willing to give such a satisfaction to his hangman.

When Daiki entered the room, he looked different from the boy he had known since he was thirteen.

His features were twisted by a hatred he had never seen on him, and his firm stride looked nothing like his usual casual one.

That wasn’t the person he knew, and as much as he wasn’t willing to admit it, this version of him scared him to death.

“How’s it going, Kei-chan?” he asked, his voice cold, mocking.

Kei raised an eyebrow, shrugging.

“Fine, Dai-chan, thank you for asking. I was about to congratulate your hospitality.” he replied, ironical.

Daiki chuckled, kneeling on the bed and brushing a hand over the elder’s face, weirdly delicate.

“If you think that making me laugh is going to get you out of here easier, you’re dead wrong Kei.”

He leant over him, and Inoo shivered while the younger pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Daiki shook his head, sighing.

“It’s all your fault, we both know that. If you hadn’t decided to play the part of Kota’s little whore now we wouldn’t be...”

“I’ve decided what?” the elder interrupted, bewildered. “You can believe whatever you want, Daiki, but remains the fact that I’ve chosen Kota because I love him, not because I enjoy being his whore.” he seemed to think about it for a moment, then he smiled. “Not everyone enjoys using me as if I was, you know?” he alluded, and Arioka couldn’t resist it and slapped him.

“Do you really think that’s all you were for me, Kei?” he inveighed, furious. “Do you think that you’d be here if all I wanted from you was to use you? That I would’ve worried about keeping you bound to this damn bed, that I would’ve even bothered to talk to you?” he shook his head, biting down on his lip. “Had you only been a whore for me, I’d have found another one. But it’s you I want, Kei.” he said, hoarse, and Inoo recognized himself as his only weakness, just like he was the only thing that would’ve allowed him to get out of his unharmed, perhaps.

“Daiki, do you realise this is madness? What do you think you’ll get by keeping me here? You can’t force me to feel something I don’t, and it’s time you resign to this.” he hissed, pulling on the ropes and hurting himself, but he didn’t care.

He was dead furious at Daiki.

And he was because he was forcing him on that bed, because he couldn’t go on.

Because he constantly reminded him of the pain Kei had involuntarily inflicted upon him, and not even being in that situation made him forget the disappointment on his face when he had told him he loved Kota.

“But you liked it, didn’t you?” the younger murmured, grabbing his face, bringing his own a few inches from it. “Did you like it when I touched you, Kei? Did you like it when I kissed you, when I fucked you, when I...”

“Stop it!” the elder yelled, biting his lips. “Stop it, Daiki. Do you want to hear I liked it? I did. But I’m sure you don’t want to hear that I’ve never felt anything for you, that there’s no comparison to when Kota’s touching me, that you’ve been just a momentary fling. Do you want me to say I’m sorry for misleading you? Then I will, if that’s what you want. Just let me live my life in peace.” he said, aware of how wrong it was to irritate him more than he already was on his own.

But he was tired of it, to have thrown in his face a guilt he had already admitted it belonged to him.

He just asked to go back home, cradle inside the arms of the one he loved, forgetting those infernal hours the other was forcing him to live.

Arioka loosened his hold on his face, starting to caress him slowly, even more tenderly than he had done in the past.

Kei wanted to scream, but he couldn’t.

“Do you want to cry?” the younger whispered, that wasn’t even sarcastic.

Inoo shrugged.

“If I was to cry I’d declare my defeat, and pity’s not for me, Daiki. Especially, I don’t want it from someone who’s keeping me tied to a bed.” he sighed, embittered. “What is it you want from me?” he asked, feeling the exasperation starting to prevail. “Want to fuck me? Do it, then. Take me, Daiki, if that’s what you want. You’re keeping here after all, aren’t you? What is it to you?” he asked, his breath short, his heart seeming to burst in his chest, while his fear grew.

He didn’t understand, and he hated it.

He wanted the younger to speak clear, telling him what was his end game, so that he could make his peace with it.

That waiting was slowly killing him.

“I won’t if you’re not the one who wants it, Kei.” Daiki whispered low, almost defeated, as if in that silent request there was also Kei’s answer already.

And it was like that, because he was never going to want it, not again, not at a time like this.

“I’m sorry, Daiki.” he murmured, as crazy as it sounded for him to apologize now, and he loathed himself for how the younger had made him feel guilty even when he was the one in the wrong, even when he had crossed all the boundaries.

But Daiki wasn’t alright, and he could see that, and he couldn’t think straight. Kei realized it, in the end: he didn’t want anything in particular from him. Just throw all of his frustration in his face, and the way he had made him feel, so that he was going to remember, so that the thought would’ve never left him.

It was a desperate plea, but Inoo wasn’t going to grant him that, because as much as he could’ve hurt him there was nothing justifying his behaviour now.

Not even the pain in his eyes.

He kept thinking about it while Daiki pulled away.

He kept thinking about it while he saw him looking for something inside the desk’s drawer.

He kept thinking about it until the younger turned toward him, and he could see clearly the knife in his hand.

That wasn’t his Daiki, that wasn’t the Daiki who held him tight, who made him feel loved even when it wasn’t love at all.

He didn’t like what he was seeing, and then he really felt like crying, but still he didn’t want his pity nor his mercy.

Not even if his destiny was going to be death.

 

~

 

He looked in the mirror, disgusted.

He put a towel over it so that he wasn’t going to be forced to look at himself, before getting under the shower.

It had been months since that night, and he still had every detail of it burnt in his mind.

Every word they had said, what it meant, every gesture, and all the rage they both had.

He couldn’t forget the smell of blood, and its look on that light skin, indelibly tarnished.

He sighed, brushed a hand over his face, and he was still horrified.

He washed up quickly, scratching the sponge over his body as he had done since that day, trying to wash away from himself the marks of those hours, aware of how impossible it was to hope for that.

Once out of the shower he was forced to look in the mirror again when he pulled the towel down, and once again disgust made him shiver.

The scar disfiguring his face would’ve forbidden him to forget, and the end game had always been that.

Forbid him to forget.

And Kei knew he couldn’t forget the feeling of that blade on his face marking him for the rest of his life, that he wasn’t going to forget what he and Daiki had done to each other, that every time he was going to look at himself in the mirror his face was going to remind him of that.

And that he was never going to forget the image of his best friend who, because of him and in front of him, took his own life.


End file.
